Monday, April 7, 2014

Lessons Learned From My Wedding: The Merisik

Just when I though that my wedding fever is over, and I could FINALLY just focus on my thesis and just freaking move on with my life as a newlywed, tapi tidak! Drama tidak akan berakhir begitu saja... I wouldn't want to write and brag about about my wedding, about what to do, and whom to go to...bla bla bla, I am sure other former brides' blogs have better recommendations than mine.

I am going to write about my BAD experience, most bride's WORST nightmare, things you pray day and night to NOT happen, but happened anyways...and so, here is my part of the misery, the troubles, the tears and the sweat. I am going to start all the way from my Merisik, to Majlis Bertunang and then Nikah, to the Reception and lastly, the Kenduri on the Groom's side, all of which happened in 2013 (with the exception of the Groom's side Kenduri, which commenced in January 2014).

It's full of HORROR I tell you, H-O-R-R-O-R!


Oohh, suddenly I feel all jelly-butterfly-ish writing about this. I have never actually shared about my merisik in detail, but as of today, it was about a year ago that I was proposed by my husband's family officially. Before I begin with my story, let me enlighten you with the character of my family members, mainly my Parents, and Opah, they take seriously the Malay Adat and Adab, they value common sense more than anything.

Merisik was sort of hard for my Husband I think, because he had to handle everything by himself for the first time, from gathering the family members to getting the right him, it all seemed alien, but to my family, it is normal. I could still very much re-call the arguments I had with him..."You must have this, you must do that..." ect... Gosh, it wasn't a good few months for us. 

For the Merisik process, my family requires for his family to come in the complete quota of;

1 Ketua Rombongan (Adult male, usually the uncle),
Atleast 2 Other elderly, (Adult Men and Women, usually aunties or uncles, or older siblings)
The Parents,
Sebentuk cincin dan Buah Tangan. (I helped him out with choosing..) 

In the Merisik process, parents are not suppose to say anything during the early parts of the proposal, they are just present for the process...usually the head of the rombongan will be the one to lead the session. The conversation will start off with getting to know each other (the elderly), and then it slowly leads to the matter of the proposal.

I know that for some people, it may seem fussy and unneeded, but personally, if I am going to leave my parents to go into the arms of another man,who is a stranger I met about a year before the Merisik, well....he is going to have to do it in the most tedious, most menyusahkan way if he has to...even if I am not some beautiful artist dopple-ganger, I am also not that desperate to leave my parents.

Which is why, even from the beginning (Merisik), my parents started the wedding process with proper and strict tradition. 

My husband, after the whole process, (selepas dah gaduh semua tu), couldn't stop messaging and calling me... he was too happy that he is officially getting married to me.

Maaf nak ambil kesempatan troll husband kat sini.

Itulah, Ika dah cakap dah... dengar je cakap I...hahaha. :P

Mukadimah bagi Bakal Pengantin & yang tengah berangan nak kahwin.
  • Demand for a Merisik session, for my case, I was the one who demanded for it, because I only knew my husband then, so, I needed a buffer for my parents and his family to know who they will be "dealing" with.
  • Still go through the Merisik process even if both of your family have known each other before, and make it a proper, traditional session...a good Merisik is a good start to the whole process. Plus, you'll get an extra ring pun..hehe.
  • Please pakai baju kurung/traditional yang loose and jangan tegur pun pakwe korang.

Ok, wait for the Next part, the Engagement.


  1. Haiiiii..Cakkk!!
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    sudilah kiranya follow me back yea..
    he2.. salam kenal.. keep in touch yea..=)

    dan my 2nd blog